Wrote this last Saturday on my actual birthday...
It’s that time of year again, when I get to think about
how old I’m getting, how much has changed and what I should wish for before I
blow out the candles. The thing I’ve wanted is so confusing yet so miraculous.
Its value is immense and yet it costs no amount of money. It’s very near and
dear to my heart. Now, I tend to claim it as my own but in reality it’s not.
Which is why this gift might be the most difficult to get. It’s that special
kind of gift you wish you had before anyone else because you know you can treat
it with the love and affection it deserves. For those who have been keeping up,
you already know what my heart desires. So what is my description of an Angel?
They are quite rare and if you see one you must cherish and embrace them as
long as humanly possible. So my gift, the one I want, the one I know would
change everything forever is well my Angel. I want all of her: strengths,
weaknesses, personality, laugh, smile, the big and little things she does, her
confusion, her determination, her past, present, future, her goals, her pain,
her joy, her everything. Most guys wouldn’t admit to wanting all of that from a
girl but just like she knows and you as my readers know, I’m not like most
guys. Out of every wish my mind could think of, I believe this is the one I
truly deserve, the one that should be granted with no questions asked.
Everyone
deserves to be surrounded by loved ones on their special day, especially if the
person you love is there to celebrate with you. Due to the shit that went down
however, I feel like this gift will be even harder to get. I haven’t seen her
in damn near three weeks and I’m expecting whatever force that “grants” wishes
to just up and have her arrive at my doorstep late one night and have us just
embrace, finally making sense of the shit we’ve been through. She’s the only
gift I truly desire. And yet, I can’t help but wonder, do I really deserve such
a gift? Also, is it more that I want her or that I need her?
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