Maybe if I
would’ve applied myself more in high school I wouldn’t have ended up in a
shitty community college. Maybe if I would’ve applied myself more in this
shitty community college I would probably be at a better school joining the
majority of my friends as they head on with their lives. Rejection is a shitty
word for anyone. The multiple forms of rejection is what makes everyone hate
it. Plus once you get rejected from something or someone it makes you question
and doubt yourself. Maybe I’m not getting what I want in life because of my
attitude. They say good things take time, as an impatient person I wouldn’t
know. So I guess maybe I’m bound to the life of being a reject on specific
things. If that is the case however, how do you reject a reject?
Monday, April 29, 2013
2 Planets Away / 2 Different Axles
This weekend made me realize that the future is happening as
we speak. The days are going past us by the blink of an eye. Celebrating the
fact that some friends of mine graduate within a matter of weeks while I’m
still stuck here with nothing to show for it can really make a guy think. Now
sure we reminisced about high school and how many people are doing one thing
instead of what they should be doing. It got me thinking. I’m still stuck in
the same old town. I still have no educational plans aside from attending a
shitty community college that I’ve hated since day one. Even if I were
attending a decent university, I have no fucking money to support myself
because all of the jobs I’ve applied to still salute me with a middle finger.
So what in the hell am I doing with my life? That’s the $50 question…
American Terrorist
Fear struck the lives of so many people a couple of weeks
ago. Bombs, explosions, gunfire, etc. Multiple acts of man on man violence well
minus the fertilizer plant catching fire but still resulted in something
deadly. The search for the Boston Marathon bombers was long and agonizing. And
all the while I kept thinking to myself, even if they catch these guys will
that change anything? Lives are still changed; hearts are still broken, so even
if they were caught, the damage was already done. It wasn’t until a couple of
hours later when one of the bombers was dead that I kept reading that they
wanted the other one alive. Why? So he can be questioned? That’s reasonable.
Because everyone deserves to know why? Absolutely. But again in the end
everything still happened and no amount of knowledge will heal those wounds any
quicker. The kid’s either going to get multiple life sentences or the chair.
Does he deserve it? Justice must be served but it’s not going to change
anything. Once he was caught, everyone around the country banded together to
celebrate. But I have to ask, when it comes to things of this nature, when it
comes to sadistic shit like this that puts everyone’s life in danger, is there
really a winner and a loser? Think about it…
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Moment of Clarity
I drink 6 shots of literary liquor, I’m the bad ass resurrection
of a normal kid who died a sinner.
I thank the Lord that I wake up every morning yet I know
that I can die at any moment.
Perfection is the force I strive for, but being perfect
is an illusion so as I grab the deck of life and cut up the cards, watch as I
search through them.
Look up at the stars as you hear my voice speak, the
words assist the images in your mind while you sleep.
I went from a caterpillar to a wasp and transformed into
a demon, it hurts as I impregnate your soul like a baby whose teething.
I vomit and spew out some blood, the piece of paper that
it’s fallen on, shows an image of love.
This whole writing thing isn’t just a hobby but more for
peace, I do it for my future and for a simple moment of clarity…
Would You Say My Intelligence now is Great Relief?
Short but sweet
Look at the
sky. We only know very little about the planets and stars and yet all of that
shit is beautiful. A night time sky is filled with distant white moths that
have apparently already faced their demise. A big face looks down on us as we
breathe in the air and just thank whoever we worship that we can enjoy it. I
guess that’s why I’m thankful that I wake up every day. It’s the little things
we have to appreciate about life. Now you may be having a shitty day or week, but
the fact that you were able to wake up this morning should immediately be a
win. Shit could always be better and yet it could always be worse. Think about
it…
Right Here
You know
the whole friends forever thing has always been quite intriguing to me. No one
really remains friends forever with someone cause well forever is a long time.
Guess the same rule applies with the whole relationship/ex-relationship scenario. How one person always says that they’ll be there for the other no
matter what happens. I've always been that person. The one to never leave and
to always stay true to his word. If the bond has been broken then yes I will
become skeptical but damnit I cared about you one time or another, so I’ll
still be around. Now sure if I've put in effort multiple times but you haven’t
then silence is the only other option. Maybe that’s why I've never really had
luck in this department. Instead of being spontaneous, I've always been spot on
with what I’m going to do and when I’m going to do it. Even when I’m the one
who mentions the spontaneous-ness. I will always have a backup plan that will
actually benefit the person that I’m with. Sneaky yes, but I am always looking
out for them. Regardless I feel that no matter who I end up with both friend
wise and love of my life wise, I will always remain right here to help them.
And I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing…
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