Forever Never Seems That Long Until You're Grown

Tying up with my previous post, I believe that everything I do will compliment my future. I believe that since I have become highly dedicated with this whole writing thing that in the end it will completely pay off. If you remember from one of my previous posts, I had a dream a couple of months ago when I decided to start writing my book, that I was on one of those morning talk shows. I looked a couple of years older, in my late 20s early 30s, and I was promoting my book. And I could feel it, the cover, the spine, I flipped through it and there they were every single word that I had written from the very beginning. That dream is what made me decide to fulfill my destiny and that dream is also why I began writing on a regular basis. Now, when it comes to the law of attraction I'm a pretty big skeptic. I believe that things happen for a reason and there's no way that we can avoid some of the shit that happens in our lives. But, deep down in my heart I know that this whole project I have going on, this whole way of life that I have been challenged with, will give me the satisfaction of knowing that I was able to do something positive and make a difference in the world. Now, am I saying I'm going to rid the world of disease or stop crime, no but what I will most likely end up having an effect on is that person who has had a rough couple of days. They'll pick up my book and realize that they are not alone, that through the power of reading and writing, emotions can be settled and dealt with in other forms other than physical action. They'll be able to realize what I have realized, that the Pen truly is mightier than the Sword...

I Gotta Have It

     Life is the most powerful drug that any one person can be on. That point in life when  the only things you complain about are what you had to eat. I've realized that everything I have in life, I'm grateful for. My only big downers at the moment are school and that I can't get a girlfriend but even then, those two aren't that bad. I'm even glad that I only hangout with a handful of people because those are the people that will make the memories last. I want to be able to tell my kids about all of the adventures that I was able to have. The good, the bad, the wrong, and the right. You know they say, tell me who your friends are and I'll tell you who you are. Well, by the look of my friends, I've chosen quite well. We know how to live life, yes certain measures have to be taken, but in the end there is nothing but laughs filling the room. Life as I said is the greatest drug someone could be on. It's full of wonder and merriment. The greatest part about it, is that while under the influence we tend to learn something new everyday. The lesson for today is enjoy life, if you love to draw, then draw your heart out. If laughing is your pleasure, then as Eddie Murphy once said, "Giggle your motherfucking ass off." We don't know how long we'll live so might as well, do the things that make us happy. Would you rather live to be 40 years old and enjoy every second of it or live to be 100 without doing anything enjoyable? I end with this quote by comedian Gabriel Iglesias, "Why do people measure life by the years, instead of how good the years were?"

You'll Probably Know it's You After the First Sentence

We've all put ourselves out there for someone we care deeply about. We've poured our emotions out to the point where we're damn near passing out over love-loss. Now, if you remember correctly, a couple of entries ago, I told you the story of the girl who I loved and how I let her slip away. Well, recently I showed her what I wrote and explained in full, just how I really felt about her. You know how you sometimes picture how you want a result to turn out. Well, in my eyes, I was hoping that she was going to call me up, crying and saying that she loved me in the exact same way. Then, reality hit and I remembered that she now goes to school in Rhode Island and it would be impossible for us to be together. No one likes being heartbroken, especially me, you would think that after all the times that it's happened I would be used to it. But if it wasn't meant to be, then I guess I have my answer. While I think about this loss, I can't help but feel that my heart might have a different person in mind for my Ms. Right...

Love Causes the Same Chemical Reaction in the Brain as Insanity

Someone once said, "To regret something is to hang yourself with your own noose. Mental suicide." These past couple of days, due to my birthday, have been filled with a lot of thinking about my past. Regret is something that no one can ignore. We always tend to regret even the smallest of things. For instance, maybe you wanted to take a class one year but couldn't or maybe you regret saying "this" instead of saying "that." So, during my senior year of high school, I started talking to this girl in my French class. She was a big cutie, so of course I was attracted to her but if I would've known just how head over heels I would fall for her, then I would've been able to prepare for what was in store. So when we first started talking, she kept telling me about this boy problem that she was dealing with. So being the nice guy that I am, I helped her out and gave her a couple of tips.
     So after a couple of days of talking, I started falling for her. And if there is one thing you must know about me, it's that if I fall for someone then I fall HARD! So as the days passed, my crush on her just got bigger and bigger until I couldn't help myself and I told her what the deal was. To my surprise, I learned that she too had a crush on me. So come time that Monday, when French class came around, guess who couldn't help but keep smiling the whole damn time. We even went as far as sitting next to each other while doing a group activity and kept just playfully messing with each other. Now as Sebastian the crab once said, "She don't got a lot to say but there's something about her..." Considering, we've both been hurt in the past by past crushes, we didn't want to jinx anything. So that Christmas, we decided that we would buy each other something and then we would hang out one day at my house and exchange gifts while watching her favorite movie, The Little Mermaid. That day never came however, so the time that we had that could have made the deal for us to become a couple never happened. So as part: 1 of my story comes to a conclusion, be aware that when part: 2 comes into play, we'll get to see how after the death of my dad, I messed up what could have ultimately saved my life...

Soundtrack 2 My Life

The great Albert Einstein once wrote, " The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once." In a couple of hours, it is going to be my birthday. That one special day of the year where I get to Thank God for letting me live another full year. The big difference about this birthday however is that I'm turning 20. You know time never seems to fade us. We can still remember things we did when we were 5 and they feel as though we just did them. But now that I realize it, I'm able to categorize my life into time. For instance, I know that one year from now I will officially be 21 which makes me legal to drink/buy alcohol anywhere I please. In a matter of 5-7 years, I plan to at least have my family started. In 8-10 years, I will hopefully be working as a full blown writer and share stories with everyone around the world. I'll also be able to attend my 10 year high-school reunion and see all the old faces that I no longer communicate with. After that however, I can't fill in the gaps. For instance, who in my family will still be alive in 20 years when I'm 40? Will I even live to be 40? And yet, is my mind so advanced that I have to keep thinking about my future instead of the present? The sad thing being that I can only help but think of the trials and tribulations that will probably re-enter my life. Guess I should start thinking about my birthday wish now...

Life Is Your Professor

Winston Churchill wrote, "Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm." As Graduation time approaches and leaves us once again, I can't help but feel a little sad and confused. Sad mainly for those who are going to lose friendships, friendships that damn near took them 12+ years to create. I know first hand. In High School you have your group of friends and it could be a really big group but by the time your first semester of college comes along, that big group of your friends tends to decline at least by one person everyday. When you realize it, you now have a small circle of friends and all of those people that once populated your group are now just faceless statues filling up space in your memories. The confused part comes with Time. Time, as we all know, is probably the hardest thing to ever understand. It seems like just months ago that I graduated from High School, when in reality it has already been 2 years. Now, I haven't done much in these 2 years, except for create a blog, lose my heart, and lose my mind. But even then we as humans tend to take time for granted on account that we're always thinking that Time will always be here with us. When in fact, we'll be here one second and never know what the hell happened to us the next. So to anyone who reads this that has graduated or will graduate, just remember. Don't take things, mainly Life for granted, it's our only one so might as well have as much fun as possible. They say Life is a test. But most of the time, Life is a 500 question exam with 3 Essays and not even you may know the topic...

She was Grace, in name and in essence.

 It comes to a surprise when you find certain people in your life that have actually changed you. Maybe it was from a phrase they used to say, an old habit they used to do, etc. For instance, my great uncle used to open every bottle and/or jar by first hitting the bottom. I would ask him, "why are you doing that?" He would reply with, "I'm just taking out the demons..." after that moment, every bottle or jar I grab I slap it on the bottom and it opens. Just from one little gesture, my life has changed even if it was just something small. Chatting with a friend of mine, I came to realize that she too was someone that has changed my life. She has gone through many things during her life which is one of the many things we have in common. But her elegance, her intelligence, her strengths, her weaknesses, her pain, her sorrow, her effort. It has all impacted me. She showed me that it doesn't matter if the package is small, that the most amazing things come from them. There's a poem I once heard and it said," Nothing from the first day I saw her and no one that has happened to me since has ever been as frightening and as confusing. For no person have I ever known has ever done more to make me feel more sure or more insecure or more important and less significant." Without her, who knows if I would still be the same person I am now, maybe because I met her my life now actually means something. Thank you...

How To Save A Life

If you had the chance to go back in time and save somebody, would you? Would you change the course of the future they were destined to be in to a future that appeals to everyone. It sounds like the butterfly effect, no matter how many times you could change the future, the outcome always remains the same even if you do delay it a little. Going back and saving someones life could mean the ultimate sacrifice for you, would you still do it? Or is the natural order of things never supposed to be touched because maybe it happened for a reason and you altering the situation would mean starting another whole batch of problems. But if I could go back in time, not only would I save someone I love but I would also be able to save myself from the sorrow that now dwells in my mind...