It's Just Textbook Stuff

   Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, "Do not waste yourself in rejection; do not bark against the bad, but chant the beauty of the good." We all love being accepted. No matter where, at what time, or even when, being accepted into some place makes you feel like the king of the hill. Why is it then that the majority of the things we take a chance on get shot down by Acceptance's little sister, Rejection. Rejection can be a real bitch when she wants to be. Whether it's from a job, a college application, or even a relationship. No one likes being rejected, no one likes having that feeling of "I'm not worthy enough." The weird thing is, that rejection will always be a part of our lives. It all depends on how we deal with the rejection that makes us or breaks us. But once again, consider a relationship or not even a relationship, just consider a friend. Friends will always reject you for others, that's just how it is. But does it come to a point, where all of this rejection is enough and you end up calling them out on it. For instance, say you don't talk to a friend for a couple of weeks and then they suddenly call you and don't even say, "hey, how are you?" They immediately go into whatever the hell they called you about. Now, not only does this show that they don't care but it also shows that your nothing but another person to them. In return, you call them out on it, not even leaving them with enough space to come up with something smart to say. So if you think about it, is rejection really all that bad? Or does it give you the chance to open your eyes and your mind to new opportunities?...

The Other Me

I just got through watching a trailer for a movie titled "Another Earth." It's basically about this other earth that just randomly appeared in the sky and it shares everything with our Earth, including the people. So the trailer actually makes you think. If there were a parallel universe or if there were a second Earth, what would the other you be like? Would they share the same mistakes that you've made? Would they be better or worse than the you of this Earth? Would they have your same flaws and weaknesses? Or would they be the exact opposite of you completely? Would the disasters that happen on this Earth not occur in the other one? If someone died that was close to you, does that mean that they would still be alive on the other Earth? I guess one would never be able to find out. It seems to me that the "other Earth" would be just like a butterfly effect. In the sense that, if something happened to Earth one, it would be pointless to try and prevent it on Earth two because no matter how hard you try one way or another, it's going to happen. So as I sit here scratching my head at the possibilities at another Earth, I leave you with one final question. If there were another Earth, would you want to meet yourself?...

Here's my Prescription

I saw the girl that's been roaming around in my head today. As I drove her home and she was telling me about how her life has been, she told me that she has recently been in many down moods. It's hard when you have feelings towards somebody and you see them like this and all you want to do is hold them and never let go until they're alright. But all I could do was stare at her and share some wisdom with her, that's it. Sure at the end she gave me a hug but maybe its just me. But when I receive a hug from her I always expect something else to happen, some sort of spark or magic. You know the final notch on the belt, so that things can finally be how they are supposed to be. Like Tinkerbell in the beginning of every Disney movie coming out and waving her magic wand type of ordeal. The weird thing is though, is that I have no idea what I'm feeling, of course I can't get her out of my mind but in the meantime I have to handle my own personal business. So my mind is basically having a juggling contest between these two thoughts. Whatever the case is between me and her, there's only one real question that I have to ask myself; Is she worth the wait? And the answer is: yes, because it's not just one thing about her that has me dumbfounded, it's everything. Her beauty, her wit, her emotion, it's all poetry. I mean it's no wonder I wrote a blog about her a while back. So as I conclude my Worthwhile trilogy, I start to think about what her feelings are towards me. And I don't really care, I'm in her life for a reason, and no matter what the outcome is of this waiting game, I love my place right where it is...

The Doctor can't Diagnose what I Have.

Have you ever liked someone just to have them like you back and you find out that they were playing you the whole damn time? In the 19 years I've been living, I have had 2 separate encounters of this category. One of them was a couple of years back. This female and I began to talk just as friends at first. We went on a couple of "dates" I guess you could call them. A couple of months passed by and I fell deeper and deeper for her. All of my friends kept telling me, "Richard, don't do it man she doesn't really like you," etc etc. For some reason whenever I'm surrounded by affection and the embrace of someone, I tend to become blind and oblivious to what others tell me. So of course I didn't pay attention to my friends and by the end of my junior year of high school I came to realize that the entire time she was playing the hell out of me. The other girls story happened last year. We randomly began talking via Facebook and one thing led to another and we began texting. So I started catching feelings but I told myself I wouldn't let my guard down until she said something. So she finally tells me that she has feelings for me so I tell her the same thing and we began seeing each other before and after she had school. We talked and hung out for about a month and a half. Then one day, I text her and she doesn't reply which sort of confused me due to the fact that she always and I mean ALWAYS had her phone. But I brush it off, then at night I get a text from her saying hi. A couple of texts later the conversation dies. So the next day approaches and again she doesn't reply so I immediately assume something's up. So on the third day I decide not to do anything and BAM, we ended all forms of communication. No explanation, no excuse necessary. The really fucked up thing about this girl is that out of all of the awful and soul crushing shit that happened to me last year, she was the best thing. Really? Now you know it's been a bad year when the best thing to happen to you is a girl who teased the hell out of you for shits and giggles. 

      Now as I conclude Part 2 of if people are worth waiting for, I start to think about my old crushes. For some reason the majority of the girls I had a crush on, all either had a boyfriend or were just getting out of a really shitty relationship. So now I wonder, am I just going for the girls that are most vulnerable? Or do I believe that by me liking them, then maybe they can like me and see what it's like to have a real genuine guy in their life. Whatever the hell the answer is, I still can't help but wonder. Is this really worth it?...

Part 3 Coming Soon

Welcome to my Asylum

          A question for my readers, Whenever you tell someone that you like them/love them, do you think about them the 24 hours in a day? It's a weird feeling isn't it, you tend to think about that person non-stop. Wondering what they're doing, whether or not they're thinking about you and the majority of the time they're not. I guess unless that person tells you that they like you first, in reality they have no feelings towards you. It's a weird and unpredictable way of thinking about it but if you ponder the thought, it's true. Guys, you tell a girl you like them. What do they do? "Aw that's so sweet, listen I love spending time with you but I don't want to jeopardize anything." Girls, you tell a guy you like them. And they lead you on, while behind your back they're most likely banging your best friend, her best friend and her mom. So why do we as a society tend to put our hearts out there? Is it actually to show affection or is it that we as individuals tend to do desperate shit when we feel vulnerable and lonely? But sometimes, you actually do find someone. That person that you can't even look at them without feeling butterflies. And yet, maybe its fate or witchcraft but something always gets in the way of you two being together. So you always say, "Don't worry, I'll wait for you." But as days pass by your wondering if you should really wait for them, so you start asking your friends and/or your sibling for advice. And they tell you the deal, "If the person is legit, then they are worth the wait." So I ask you this, have you ever waited for someone? Was the wait really worth it?...
      Part 2 Coming Soon...

Feelings Got In The Way: The Friends with Benefits Story

Aristotle once said, "A friend is a soul that resides inside two bodies." Friends can come to you in many forms. Whether it be a parent, a sibling, or hell even a pet. Friends were specifically designed to be there when you need them. They're the ones that help you through tough times, they help you through trouble, and even get you into trouble. There are certain problems though when it comes down to having a friend of the opposite sex. Mainly due to the fact that, sooner or later feelings will start to grow stronger. Meaning that either them or you will want to take your friendly relationship to the next level. Certain times however, there comes a point where the whole "friends with benefits," situation comes together. Having a beneficial friend is like having a special toy. You've had this toy for many years, you love this toy, and you enjoy its company. But sooner or later, the toy is going to be given to another person for them to play with and this just leaves you confused and lonely. Here is where the feelings come into play. I don't think the whole friends with benefits thing works, mainly due to the fact that you mess around with that person long enough as soon as they go out with someone else, your going to feel like your heart just got ripped out. So my question is, if you fall for your beneficial friend, can you stay friends with them even though deep down you will always want something more?...Think about it.

The Game of Chance is below Risk and above Sorry

Does chance really work? Flipping a coin, rolling the dice, shuffling a deck and magically picking out a card. Does taking a chance actually benefit the person taking it? And the answer is: who knows. In my 19 years of living, I have taken multiple chances and opportunities. Some working towards my benefit, some working at a disadvantage. But in the end, I always seem to ask myself, "Was it really worth it?" Going into a relationship is one of the biggest games of chance a human being could possibly play. Picking one card out of a deck of thousands and that one card is by chance determined to be a soul mate. But like every game, there is always a combination of guilt, blame, and agony. Which in turn causes the game to be controlled by Chance's evil little sister, Heartbreak. A broken heart will hurt but it will heal. There is no point in dwelling on what happened. Now you just have t o dwell on what will happen. But now that sweet and innocent card that you picked has turned into a demon and it's slowly but surely bringing you down into its insane world. I guess thats what relationships do to you. Some guys do everything possible for their girls and the girls do the same. But the majority of the time only one half of the team is actually doing something useful and when the other half is actually questioned, not a single fuck is given. So in the end, Was it really worth it?...