And My Mind is All...

Chinese Philospher Lao Tzu once said, "Love is of all passions the strongest, for it attacks simultaneously the head, the heart, and the senses." Tying into the poem I wrote, I'm starting to get frustrated with the fact that I broke the one promise I told myself wouldn't happen when it came down to my feelings towards this girl. I kept telling myself, "be careful man, don't get in too deep, she's taken and you won't be able to change her mind..." Now, I'm grown, I can admit when I make a mistake. The problem is, is that my head is going left while my heart is going right. My head keeps trying to send my heart messages that my heart just shrugs off like if nothing happened. The thing I like the most about this entire situation is that I make her happy. She's told it to me and to her friends, she's specifically said that I have a special place in her heart. She already knows how I feel about her, hell just by her sending me a good morning text my day is automatically great. Last night for instance, we went and got a late night meal at around 1 a.m. We sat in my truck and talked for a couple of hours, messing with each other which technically meant she drew on my arm. When it came time for us to say goodbye, we had a quick staring contest which I won, if you ask her however she'll say otherwise.
As a prize, I asked for a kiss. She sent me a text the night before saying that she was going to give me one, which kind of bummed me out. But when we finally hugged and kissed, I don't know but it's like nothing fucking mattered. Like the embrace that we had for that split second evaporated all other things in the world. It was such a feeling that on the drive home, I kept asking myself if it happened, that's how my mentality works. If something surprising happens and it's a very good thing, I immediately question its realism. Now I don't know if her feelings for me will ever change, they could grow or they could just stay the same. My feelings for her however, aren't going to change for quite some time which I guess is a good thing but is ultimately resulting in the outcome that has happened to me many times in the past, which is wanting something I can't ever have...