My Only Friend Is My Misery

John Mitchell once said, " Our attitude towards life determines life's attitude towards us." During the course of the past couple of weeks, I've been in a specific mood. The type of mood where you can't stand being told what to do by anyone especially your family. Now I don't know if it's because of my new haircut, I don't know if it's because of my whole new Rebel Without A Cause summer phase, but something about me doesn't seem like the norm. Now, I'll admit that when people start telling me what to do, it does irritate me, I mean I'm almost 20, damn near an adult, I should be able to make my own decisions. Now I do realize however, that my family is probably looking out for me but it's my stubbornness that makes me "lash out" and I guess create a small dispute.  So is my stubbornness and my ego the reason why I can't get a job, the reason why no girl considers me as boyfriend material? Is the Law of Attraction really to be put on the spot light? I can't help but think. Maybe I'm not determined to be a writer, will I be a success? Will my book(s) be a bust? I've had dreams where I'm on TV promoting my stuff but is that enough? Do I have to start living for the future or do I struggle with trying to survive the present? And while I continue to ask these questions, I can't help but think that I still have some unanswered questions that I buried, my past is coming back to haunt me, all over again...