And My Mind is All...

Chinese Philospher Lao Tzu once said, "Love is of all passions the strongest, for it attacks simultaneously the head, the heart, and the senses." Tying into the poem I wrote, I'm starting to get frustrated with the fact that I broke the one promise I told myself wouldn't happen when it came down to my feelings towards this girl. I kept telling myself, "be careful man, don't get in too deep, she's taken and you won't be able to change her mind..." Now, I'm grown, I can admit when I make a mistake. The problem is, is that my head is going left while my heart is going right. My head keeps trying to send my heart messages that my heart just shrugs off like if nothing happened. The thing I like the most about this entire situation is that I make her happy. She's told it to me and to her friends, she's specifically said that I have a special place in her heart. She already knows how I feel about her, hell just by her sending me a good morning text my day is automatically great. Last night for instance, we went and got a late night meal at around 1 a.m. We sat in my truck and talked for a couple of hours, messing with each other which technically meant she drew on my arm. When it came time for us to say goodbye, we had a quick staring contest which I won, if you ask her however she'll say otherwise.
As a prize, I asked for a kiss. She sent me a text the night before saying that she was going to give me one, which kind of bummed me out. But when we finally hugged and kissed, I don't know but it's like nothing fucking mattered. Like the embrace that we had for that split second evaporated all other things in the world. It was such a feeling that on the drive home, I kept asking myself if it happened, that's how my mentality works. If something surprising happens and it's a very good thing, I immediately question its realism. Now I don't know if her feelings for me will ever change, they could grow or they could just stay the same. My feelings for her however, aren't going to change for quite some time which I guess is a good thing but is ultimately resulting in the outcome that has happened to me many times in the past, which is wanting something I can't ever have...

Beautiful Distraction

My first attempt at writing a heartfelt poem so bear with me...

This is the story of the girl with passion in her heart

Her brain is full of emotion and her soul is a work of art

Her eyes look like diamonds and her smile will cause a spark

She’s a Beautiful Distraction and that’s my favorite part

Now this girl is goofy and flirty but she has determination

She’s witty and childish and probably the world’s best creation

Her body’s a temptation, thick in the perfect location

But what upsets me the most is the fact that she’s taken

It’s not a big deal; she’s in my life for a reason

The dude she’s with is cool, but I kind of wish I could be him

I wish I had met her in the past, could’ve changed things like a season

We’re almost the same person, 1 soul in 2 beings

We both lost our dad’s and we have crazy emotional damage

Heart-broken so many times, there’s not enough space for all the baggage

I lend her my ears whenever she needs someone to talk with

Kind of sucks wanting something but can’t really have it

My emotions for this girl are all over the place

She’s awesome to be around and keeps a smile on my face

But that ring on her finger will ultimately make me think straight

So I guess I can add this to my “what could’ve been" pile on the giant list of Fate…