I'd Like You To Meet My Wife, Oh Honey!

We often tend to go with our natural instincts on things. Met this guy today that must've been getting an anal raping every night. He wanted to have a screaming contest over nothing! And by nothing I mean a little door-door contact. It was a tap, a friendly handshake amongst those of the door-kind. And what did this moody little bitch do, he decides to get out of the car and start bitching and complaining to my grandma and mom. Even goes to the point of calling my grandmother retarded and a drunk. So here I come in acting like a smart ass but with the winning end of the verbal beat down. He starts talking all Mr. PhD in physics and all I did was clap and congratulate him. So what kind of shitty day/week/month have you had to up and freak the fuck out when something little happens? I mean my life in the previous months has been some shit but I wouldn't act like a total bitch just to prove a point. My blood was boiling after our little spat, so much so that I was shaking but cause I wanted to whoop that ass. I guess things tend to happen to those who have been bad and/or have done bad by others. So I want this man to meet my lovely lady, her name is Karma and she's a real bitch. I love this girl, she's talented at what she does, if you treat her well then she'll reward you with multiple delights. Double cross her and she'll personally, emotionally, and psychologically fuck you in every uncomfortable position invented by man. So this guy better prepare himself, he's got the biggest fucking of his life coming to him, he better put on a wet-suit, it's gonna be an uncomfortable ride...

Cupid Must Have Put A Curse On Me

Every situation, every choice, every action has a reaction. You go to a new city or state or country and there's a 50% chance you'll like it. You eat something, you have a 50/50 chance whether or not its good for you. You ask someone out and the reaction is either a yes or no. And even if the person says yes, theres a 50/50 chance whether the relationship will work or not.
But in many relationships, the guy or girl somehow overcomes these specific reactions and gets the other persons heart causing them multiple emotions and multiple thoughts. But the guy in the relationship always fucks it up, causing the girl much suffering and pain, therefore initially branding himself an Asshole. So the girl tries again with a 2nd guy and then a 3rd, but one by one the guy has screwed over the girl, but now the girl immeadiately stereotypes that every single guy is an ASSHOLE. But then comes Mr. Nice Guy, he attempts what the other so called "gentleman" did but he does it in such a wonderful fashion that he somehow gets the girls heart. He says things to make her feel like she has never felt, he makes her feel like a complete angel. Right when all the feelings are said and done, and he is about to make it official by asking her to be his girlfriend. The sudden thought of all her past relationships hit and she leaves Mr. Nice Guy without even saying a word. Now Mr. Nice Guy is standing there feeling helpless, lonely, and hurt. Now guess what she's officially become... An Asshole...