Thoughts Can't Breathe

A cloudy mind mixed with alcohol is a dangerous thing. Drunk, not actually with alcohol but with my own thoughts. Drunk on multiple scenarios concerning not only myself but those around me. Friends who often times feel down and family who often times are stumped both financially and emotionally. I myself am battling images of past infatuations and the thought of being alone for quite some time yet I don’t know if it’s because I truly want to be in a relationship or if I just want the companionship and not just with any generic thing but that member of the opposite sex who you’re close with. The person who has your back just how you have there’s, the person that you can talk to about life or love or why as kids we didn’t realize that the cartoons we used to watch were written by a bunch of stoners. The person that isn’t family but more a part of your close-knit team. The person you can go to when shit doesn’t go right that day and they’ll greet you with open arms. I know that sounds like any ol generic friend but I don’t know maybe I’ve just been out of the loop for too long. Or maybe I do indeed need that sincere relationship that could possibly change things. 

I'm Still F*cking With You

I can’t stop thinking about you. When I’m sober or when I’m drunk as all fuck, you’re the only person that comes to mind. And I ask myself why? Like fuck I get it, you were a big part of what made me, well me but it’s been ages and I still can’t help but think of every fucking event that happened between us. And sure maybe some of them weren’t so great or nothing too magical happened but I’ll be damned if that doesn’t stop me from thinking of you. I wish I could make it stop but that’s not going to happen anytime soon which will eventually cause me some fucked up trauma but at the same time I need to let it in to grow as a person, I guess. Now I wish you all the best and hope your life turns out great but for the meantime just know that my mind will from to time think of all of the shit that we went through and I’ll be somewhat grateful while at the same time question my fucking subconscious as to why it’s showing me images of your fucking gorgeous eyes and smile. Damn…

I Come in Peace

I always wonder if I’m the type of guy to be labeled as creepy by the opposite sex. Am I a stalker? No. Do I randomly text girls who I think are friends yet we only talk every once in a while with me basically starting the conversation? Absolutely. Am I the type of guy to be straight forward with a girl yet compliment her as well? Damn Skippy. But maybe that’s what makes me creepy. Maybe it’s the fact that I care about people which in turn is how I turned out to be a good listener. I like being a shoulder for others, I’m a giver I guess you could say but again maybe that’s what makes me creepy. If conversations do tend to happen with a girl, aside from the usual “getting to know one another,” nothing changes. I don’t ask for naked pictures, no figuring out whether you’re trying to “fuck or not.” I don’t play that stupid shit; I’m more of the type of person to analyze and respect your mentality and personality before anything else. Maybe it’s the fact that I love women. They fascinate me and not just the sexual/ body language aspect of it. I mean human beings in general; we're some fascinating fucking creatures. What I mean is I respect women, do I understand them however? Hell no but I am a guy so how could I? So I feel as though I’m considered a creeper to the opposite sex although I can’t help but wonder why?