I was
worried. I was worried that my mojo had disappeared which is why I haven’t
written anything in a while. So I was hoping that my trip to Nicaragua would
get me out of this funk. That is until about 3 days before my trip, I came up
with a poem, which I now consider to be in my top 3. With this poem however I’ve
come to realize that I’m a little insane. And I’ve also come to realize that
even though my heart is always in my writing, my brain has taken over and the
shit that crazy bastard can create is astonishing. I mean not only is it
bizarre but it makes you feel inspired in some weird fucked up way. I guess
what I’m saying is that not only do I want to release a book of stories but
also a book of poems, spoken word at that. I want everyone to virtually and
imaginatively swim in my mental pool of wisdom and who knows maybe the weird
fucked up imagery I’m known for will cause you to book a permanent stay in my
inner sanctum…
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
Friday, May 17, 2013
Gold Mines in these Lines
Numb, not
of pain or pleasure but from the bullshit that goes through everyday life. Numb
from a society that preys on the innocent and provides for the guilty. Sad for
the lost lives due to violence, both verbal and physical. Distraught by the
lack of help to those thinking in suicidal ways, which ultimately result in a
permanent solution. Anger towards those that ridicule over gender, race, and/or
ethnicity. Confusion over those who decide to do wrong towards their better
halves. Intrigued by those that decide to stay with the one doing the wrong.
Encouraged by the lack of faith provided by a misguiding teacher. Encouraged by
the love and support given to me by a group of strange individuals with similar
characteristics, my family. Impatient towards my future, mainly because I want
to know if I make it or not. Optimistic when it comes to Love but my heart has
been bruised quite a lot. Interested in the peace and tranquility that certain
music provides for us. Amazed by the true beauty that this world has to offer.
Bewildered by the lack of faith that we as human beings share. Fear for those children
born in a wrong home which ends with a rough childhood full of scratches and
purple skin. Agony for those owners of man’s best friend who treat said best
friend like dirt.
If I had it
my way, the world would be peaceful yet I’ve come to realize that peace could
never be an option, at least not for the entire world. It will forever be
filled with nonsense violence and stupid hatred. Innocent people will remain to
be in danger all because a coward or group of cowards decide, why say something
when I can physically show you, by bringing bloodshed. Bullies will always
remain for some damn reason. While in high school, bullying was never a problem
for me, my school didn’t even know of the word. Even though it was only 4 years
ago, the youth of today has drastically changed. Now kids are no longer friends
with everybody, each person sticks to their respective group. Feeding off of
the innocent of others who haven’t done a fucking thing to them. Women are
still being treated like shit by some fucking guy when if memory serves me
correctly, he came from a woman. I guess that’s why I’m so numb because of all
of this ignorance and useless negativity being thrown around. I’m numb because
Life shouldn’t be so hard, sure struggles are a part of life but you’re also
supposed to be able to enjoy it and cherish it. With so much anger and
misunderstanding, that seems like an impossible task for the majority of
humanity. It’s just nonsense, think about it…
Monday, April 29, 2013
Another Mistake Living Deep in my Heart
Maybe if I
would’ve applied myself more in high school I wouldn’t have ended up in a
shitty community college. Maybe if I would’ve applied myself more in this
shitty community college I would probably be at a better school joining the
majority of my friends as they head on with their lives. Rejection is a shitty
word for anyone. The multiple forms of rejection is what makes everyone hate
it. Plus once you get rejected from something or someone it makes you question
and doubt yourself. Maybe I’m not getting what I want in life because of my
attitude. They say good things take time, as an impatient person I wouldn’t
know. So I guess maybe I’m bound to the life of being a reject on specific
things. If that is the case however, how do you reject a reject?
2 Planets Away / 2 Different Axles
This weekend made me realize that the future is happening as
we speak. The days are going past us by the blink of an eye. Celebrating the
fact that some friends of mine graduate within a matter of weeks while I’m
still stuck here with nothing to show for it can really make a guy think. Now
sure we reminisced about high school and how many people are doing one thing
instead of what they should be doing. It got me thinking. I’m still stuck in
the same old town. I still have no educational plans aside from attending a
shitty community college that I’ve hated since day one. Even if I were
attending a decent university, I have no fucking money to support myself
because all of the jobs I’ve applied to still salute me with a middle finger.
So what in the hell am I doing with my life? That’s the $50 question…
American Terrorist
Fear struck the lives of so many people a couple of weeks
ago. Bombs, explosions, gunfire, etc. Multiple acts of man on man violence well
minus the fertilizer plant catching fire but still resulted in something
deadly. The search for the Boston Marathon bombers was long and agonizing. And
all the while I kept thinking to myself, even if they catch these guys will
that change anything? Lives are still changed; hearts are still broken, so even
if they were caught, the damage was already done. It wasn’t until a couple of
hours later when one of the bombers was dead that I kept reading that they
wanted the other one alive. Why? So he can be questioned? That’s reasonable.
Because everyone deserves to know why? Absolutely. But again in the end
everything still happened and no amount of knowledge will heal those wounds any
quicker. The kid’s either going to get multiple life sentences or the chair.
Does he deserve it? Justice must be served but it’s not going to change
anything. Once he was caught, everyone around the country banded together to
celebrate. But I have to ask, when it comes to things of this nature, when it
comes to sadistic shit like this that puts everyone’s life in danger, is there
really a winner and a loser? Think about it…
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Moment of Clarity
I drink 6 shots of literary liquor, I’m the bad ass resurrection
of a normal kid who died a sinner.
I thank the Lord that I wake up every morning yet I know
that I can die at any moment.
Perfection is the force I strive for, but being perfect
is an illusion so as I grab the deck of life and cut up the cards, watch as I
search through them.
Look up at the stars as you hear my voice speak, the
words assist the images in your mind while you sleep.
I went from a caterpillar to a wasp and transformed into
a demon, it hurts as I impregnate your soul like a baby whose teething.
I vomit and spew out some blood, the piece of paper that
it’s fallen on, shows an image of love.
This whole writing thing isn’t just a hobby but more for
peace, I do it for my future and for a simple moment of clarity…
Would You Say My Intelligence now is Great Relief?
Short but sweet
Look at the
sky. We only know very little about the planets and stars and yet all of that
shit is beautiful. A night time sky is filled with distant white moths that
have apparently already faced their demise. A big face looks down on us as we
breathe in the air and just thank whoever we worship that we can enjoy it. I
guess that’s why I’m thankful that I wake up every day. It’s the little things
we have to appreciate about life. Now you may be having a shitty day or week, but
the fact that you were able to wake up this morning should immediately be a
win. Shit could always be better and yet it could always be worse. Think about
it…
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