Things We Treasure

            Even though we've never actually met face to face, I can swear we’ve known each other for years. The way we sync up on a mentality level is really the basis of our intriguing relationship. I do hope that when we finally do meet, she’ll love being around me. I mean personality wise, she’s fond of me mainly because she’s mentioned it a couple of times but I feel that when we meet, something will come together like puzzle pieces and it’ll just feel great. I do hope that with my random tangents or extensions in conversation that I am not coming across as that one guy who won’t shut the hell up. I mean she makes me a better person and not even in a romantic way or in the “I have a goal concerning her” type of way, more like in the way that we’re able to cheer each other up and just have a great time within the words written in our back and forth messages. I think about her a lot and again nothing sexual or romantic but more along the lines of “I wonder if she’s alright, I hope her day is going well, when she says no one treats her like I do, I can’t help but wonder why no one can see how cool she is, etc.” And sure maybe we click so well due to our similarities but maybe our differences add to that factor as well. She’s a very special girl who I care for dearly, I can safely say that I got her back and she damn sure has mine even if for the moment, it’s within the confines of our cell phone screens. 

Words, Things, and What-not

            I speak the truth, there are those that take it with a grain of salt, it’s honestly the way I talk, though words are never catching fault. Pronunciation and exploitation along with the way different people phrase and say them, turn words into a sexual type of thing. For example, “I’m going to kill myself but maybe browse the holy book of psalms and maybe I’ll just heal thyself and spread this luck of potential wealth or turn a fucking phrase or two and wind up back at the gates of hell.” Words are poetic, a little hectic; they provide rhyme and reason or sometimes just some info to get you from that to this. Words can keep you guessing but there’s always a twist: Jack was nimble and he was quick, there was a Cat in a Hat, and Wayne Brady threatened to choke a bitch. This girl with an accent simply asked me a question causing me to turn brainless for just a few seconds. My brain sits intoxicated as it thinks of the many places that I have vividly contemplated, it really is quite amazing. And she is quite amazing, not someone in particular but as a whole, the female race. Just filled with wonderment and astonishment, something we can all admire, each writing their own fears and dreams and being able to publish it. See, words aren’t just in books and poems or the cover of a magazine. Words are beauty and art and everything we envision them to be. Words are powerful and magical. You can destroy planets and yet build universes with them. That’s why I write because words are beautiful and hurtful. They can be anything you want them to be. 

Thoughts From A Balcony

            If I plummet to the ground by hopping over this shady railing, I’ll be giving up this wonderful sight that I am currently inhaling. A horizon of such brightness, where my future has been decided as if it’s written within the confines of my own subconscious. Pages fly past me, bright lights keep flashing, I’m so fucking high…off life that I can’t stop being happy. Beauty all around me, from the people walking down below to the graffiti in the alleys. The sun burns bright like 10 crack pipes being lit under the bridge off of Distortion Pike, a sinful place known for the corrupted cops and it’s walkers of the night. Birds and planes soar high above the sky where clouds show a rendition of a fatal drive-by. As darkness covers every part of the city, beautiful beams of light come from each and every building. The world is a wonder and I know some of it is evil, there’s amazement in its nature and all the bullshit you have to see through. I look on the positive side of the spectrum so that my self-investment remains as such. Finding the strong amongst the gritty, the truth amongst the pity, I've chosen my path correctly. As I stare out towards the sky, incredible visions catch my eyes, for these are but simple thoughts from a balcony. 

10 Words or Less

I can’t even kiss someone, especially drunk without thinking…

Even if the tension had been building, I can’t stop thinking…

Maybe it’s because I was there for her…

Maybe she wanted to return the favor…

Maybe I surprised her with not being like most guys…

And it’s not like we had just met…

This was a 4 day ordeal…     

And sure we flirted back and forth but…

Why the fuck did it have to happen whilst drunk?

She obviously didn't remember, but I can’t stop forgetting…

Memories of her face, the way her lips tasted…

Scrumptious lip balm mixed with vodka…

We were both fucked up yet I clearly remember…

Maybe I’m just thinking too much about it…

Maybe it was all just a drunken occurrence…

Then why is it, no matter how hard I try…

I can’t get the images out of my head? 

Thoughts Can't Breathe

A cloudy mind mixed with alcohol is a dangerous thing. Drunk, not actually with alcohol but with my own thoughts. Drunk on multiple scenarios concerning not only myself but those around me. Friends who often times feel down and family who often times are stumped both financially and emotionally. I myself am battling images of past infatuations and the thought of being alone for quite some time yet I don’t know if it’s because I truly want to be in a relationship or if I just want the companionship and not just with any generic thing but that member of the opposite sex who you’re close with. The person who has your back just how you have there’s, the person that you can talk to about life or love or why as kids we didn’t realize that the cartoons we used to watch were written by a bunch of stoners. The person that isn’t family but more a part of your close-knit team. The person you can go to when shit doesn’t go right that day and they’ll greet you with open arms. I know that sounds like any ol generic friend but I don’t know maybe I’ve just been out of the loop for too long. Or maybe I do indeed need that sincere relationship that could possibly change things. 

I'm Still F*cking With You

I can’t stop thinking about you. When I’m sober or when I’m drunk as all fuck, you’re the only person that comes to mind. And I ask myself why? Like fuck I get it, you were a big part of what made me, well me but it’s been ages and I still can’t help but think of every fucking event that happened between us. And sure maybe some of them weren’t so great or nothing too magical happened but I’ll be damned if that doesn’t stop me from thinking of you. I wish I could make it stop but that’s not going to happen anytime soon which will eventually cause me some fucked up trauma but at the same time I need to let it in to grow as a person, I guess. Now I wish you all the best and hope your life turns out great but for the meantime just know that my mind will from to time think of all of the shit that we went through and I’ll be somewhat grateful while at the same time question my fucking subconscious as to why it’s showing me images of your fucking gorgeous eyes and smile. Damn…

I Come in Peace

I always wonder if I’m the type of guy to be labeled as creepy by the opposite sex. Am I a stalker? No. Do I randomly text girls who I think are friends yet we only talk every once in a while with me basically starting the conversation? Absolutely. Am I the type of guy to be straight forward with a girl yet compliment her as well? Damn Skippy. But maybe that’s what makes me creepy. Maybe it’s the fact that I care about people which in turn is how I turned out to be a good listener. I like being a shoulder for others, I’m a giver I guess you could say but again maybe that’s what makes me creepy. If conversations do tend to happen with a girl, aside from the usual “getting to know one another,” nothing changes. I don’t ask for naked pictures, no figuring out whether you’re trying to “fuck or not.” I don’t play that stupid shit; I’m more of the type of person to analyze and respect your mentality and personality before anything else. Maybe it’s the fact that I love women. They fascinate me and not just the sexual/ body language aspect of it. I mean human beings in general; we're some fascinating fucking creatures. What I mean is I respect women, do I understand them however? Hell no but I am a guy so how could I? So I feel as though I’m considered a creeper to the opposite sex although I can’t help but wonder why?