Feelings Got In The Way: The Friends with Benefits Story

Aristotle once said, "A friend is a soul that resides inside two bodies." Friends can come to you in many forms. Whether it be a parent, a sibling, or hell even a pet. Friends were specifically designed to be there when you need them. They're the ones that help you through tough times, they help you through trouble, and even get you into trouble. There are certain problems though when it comes down to having a friend of the opposite sex. Mainly due to the fact that, sooner or later feelings will start to grow stronger. Meaning that either them or you will want to take your friendly relationship to the next level. Certain times however, there comes a point where the whole "friends with benefits," situation comes together. Having a beneficial friend is like having a special toy. You've had this toy for many years, you love this toy, and you enjoy its company. But sooner or later, the toy is going to be given to another person for them to play with and this just leaves you confused and lonely. Here is where the feelings come into play. I don't think the whole friends with benefits thing works, mainly due to the fact that you mess around with that person long enough as soon as they go out with someone else, your going to feel like your heart just got ripped out. So my question is, if you fall for your beneficial friend, can you stay friends with them even though deep down you will always want something more?...Think about it.

The Game of Chance is below Risk and above Sorry

Does chance really work? Flipping a coin, rolling the dice, shuffling a deck and magically picking out a card. Does taking a chance actually benefit the person taking it? And the answer is: who knows. In my 19 years of living, I have taken multiple chances and opportunities. Some working towards my benefit, some working at a disadvantage. But in the end, I always seem to ask myself, "Was it really worth it?" Going into a relationship is one of the biggest games of chance a human being could possibly play. Picking one card out of a deck of thousands and that one card is by chance determined to be a soul mate. But like every game, there is always a combination of guilt, blame, and agony. Which in turn causes the game to be controlled by Chance's evil little sister, Heartbreak. A broken heart will hurt but it will heal. There is no point in dwelling on what happened. Now you just have t o dwell on what will happen. But now that sweet and innocent card that you picked has turned into a demon and it's slowly but surely bringing you down into its insane world. I guess thats what relationships do to you. Some guys do everything possible for their girls and the girls do the same. But the majority of the time only one half of the team is actually doing something useful and when the other half is actually questioned, not a single fuck is given. So in the end, Was it really worth it?...

She was Grace, in name and in essence.

 It comes to a surprise when you find certain people in your life that have actually changed you. Maybe it was from a phrase they used to say, an old habit they used to do, etc. For instance, my great uncle used to open every bottle and/or jar by first hitting the bottom. I would ask him, "why are you doing that?" He would reply with, "I'm just taking out the demons..." after that moment, every bottle or jar I grab I slap it on the bottom and it opens. Just from one little gesture, my life has changed even if it was just something small. Chatting with a friend of mine, I came to realize that she too was someone that has changed my life. She has gone through many things during her life which is one of the many things we have in common. But her elegance, her intelligence, her strengths, her weaknesses, her pain, her sorrow, her effort. It has all impacted me. She showed me that it doesn't matter if the package is small, that the most amazing things come from them. There's a poem I once heard and it said," Nothing from the first day I saw her and no one that has happened to me since has ever been as frightening and as confusing. For no person have I ever known has ever done more to make me feel more sure or more insecure or more important and less significant." Without her, who knows if I would still be the same person I am now, maybe because I met her my life now actually means something. Thank you...

Everybody Dies, But Not Everybody Lives

Two years have now gone by since my dad passed away. I wasn't expecting anything different today then the usual sadness. My agenda was as follows: went to church, bought some flowers, went home, put the flowers in water, then went to sleep for a couple of hours. As days turn into weeks and weeks into months, you start to realize that you take everything in life for granted. For instance, sometimes your parents irritate you, sometimes your hungry but your too picky to eat something. If you really think about it however, there are people far far worse off than you. Kids who grow up not knowing who their parents are, people who beg for just even a slice of bread. Certain holidays happen in this manner. Take Mother's day or Father's day, we just look at it as a day that we buy our parent a gift and tell them we love them. But when you get inside the fabric of the holiday's you start thinking. Those days were specifically built so that you would praise the people who made you, you. You praise your mom for every minute she spent trying to put you back to sleep when you had a nightmare. You praise your dad for always being able to make you laugh and work his ass off just so you could have toys and stuff to play with. Praise both your parents for the love they have given you, for some of it may be tough love but Damnit that does not mean they don't love you. What I'm saying is, don't take shit for granted. No matter how small it could be, the day it gets taken away from you, it'll break your soul. So cherish it, cherish every moment whether good or bad. It could always be worse...

Judge A Tree From Its Fruit, Not From Its Leaves

Everywhere in the media, Religion is always a key factor to certain people. I say if you were born to believe in something and it’s helped you out so far then keep believing in that, no matter what other people say. Religion however interferes with Human Sexuality. I remember one time; this father and son team came to my house. They were Jehovah’s witnesses. The man asked me,” What are your opinions about gays and lesbians, in the bible it says that in the afterlife, they will not be allowed to be with God for he believes they disobeyed him.” So I just told him, “Look we can’t help who we fall in love with, who are we to say that it’s wrong for a man to love another man or a woman to love a woman. It’s not our business and if God doesn’t want them in heaven then maybe they should consider another God.” The look on this man’s face after I was done telling him this was priceless. He was so disturbed and frustrated by my smart ass answer that he just said thank you and he left. He knew that I was right, we don’t have the right to judge others by who they love and if Homosexuals weren’t part of Gods plans then maybe they should look for a new God. Marriage is also a big puzzle. You can't marry him/her because of their ethnicity or they're the wrong religion. Fuck all of that, if the person you are with cares about you, loves you, and would do anything for you then by all means spend the rest of your life with that person. I’m not knocking anyone’s religion or saying one is wrong and one is right, but when it comes to happiness, I believe happiness wins above everything else...

MMXI: The Start of Starting Fresh

As I closed down 2010, I remembered all of the bad that happened to me. Relationship problems, Physical problems, Emotional problems, the list goes on. I put those memories to rest by setting them on fire! Now in the era of '11, new beginnings means a fresh new start to everything. It's only been 17 days since the year started and yet it feels a month or 2 in, but with these 17 days incredible things have happened. School is going to kick my ass but all of my professors are amazing, there are girls by the barrel full so I just have to get my monkey's together. I no longer hate everything and everybody, I mean I do hate certain situations and I do dislike how certain people treat other people but what are you going to do about it? Life goes on, no matter what happened to you yesterday, you always have to live for today because you don't even know if tomorrow is going to come. So as I start off this blog year, I want to say, cherish everything you have and/or had because in one single blink of the eye it could vanish. Worry not about what others are doing, only worry about you and those that you love.  Do not worry about making simple mistakes for you will learn from them and hell even sometimes your mistakes were worth it because it ended up being the right choice in the end. And finally, make sure to write down every bad experience you have had during the year, in the end you light it on fire and that shit feels good! Happy New Year, let's make 2011 count...

Everything Was Much Easier

You know when things started changing when electronics got too advanced... who remembers when we had to blow on the game cartridge just to get the damn thing to work? When liking a singer meant actually buying their shit not just downloading it online. When cartoons had a meaning whether it was bugs bunny tricking elmer fudd or tom trying to kill jerry, not making a 30 minute episode about some "adventure time." When musicians actually had talent, when there were groups like nsync and backstreet boys and not justin bieber, when snoopy d-o-gg and dr. dre were the men in charge and not waka flocka's bitch ass. When we didn't worry about school, just took naps during kindergarten and played during recess. When all we worried about was getting home after school to watch the new power rangers episode. When we didn't have to worry about getting a job, paying for food, buying our own clothes. We didn't have to worry about stress at all during our childhoods, if something bad happened we didn't get it so it didn't effect us. Now all hell breaks loose if one little thing goes wrong. Time, allows you to do wonders when you get older but it also takes away all the memories and feelings that used to make you who you are. People always wonder why I still watch cartoons from when I was younger, why I watch old movies, why I research old stuff on youtube. My reason for this is because Time has changed me, by watching things from my past, I want to hang onto it as much as possible. Keeping things from my past, saves me for atleast a tiny moment from the hell that now consumes me. My past is my simpler time, when things were exactly how they were supposed to be and not how they now are...