Everything I Do

Forgive me for anything negative in my past and forgive me for any shit that may happen in the future. I am only a man better yet I am only human. The love I will have for you will only be for you. Even though I’m a hopeless romantic and I’ve had crushes on multiple girls, no matter which girl it was, my attention was always towards her. It didn’t matter if other girls tried to get my attention or if I talked to girls that were merely friends; my line of sight was always aiming at her. I dedicate my time to her. Every story, every piece of this puzzle we call life, all of it just fascinates me. The fact that she’s family and goal oriented matches up with everything I’m about. Future lady of my dreams here is the point of all of this, if we are together I may occasionally talk to other women and not in a sexual manner, I may occasionally not say the right thing but you will be the only one who I’ll cook for, who I’ll be a goofy jackass with, and who I’ll show my undying love for. That is unless it’s the real deal, we get married, and we have a daughter together because then you’ll have to share with her. 

Time of Death

Almost 10 hours ago, a very dear friend of mine passed away. Her name was Blue, she was a Blue Tick Hound and she was only 8 years old. Blue, I just want to say that I’m sorry that you had to go so soon. I hope you enjoyed your time with us. We did our absolute best to provide a great home for you. I hope you know how much we love you and how much we’ll miss you and even though I would sometimes yell at you like any companion does from time to time, you were a fantastic dog and an incredible friend. Say Hi to my dad for us. Rest Easy Girl. 

Leave You Alone

I’m haunted by my memories. The memories of us, the memories of you. Your smile, your laugh, the look you would give me, the sparkle in your eye that gave me a hint as to what you were feeling. Every hug, every kiss, every little bit of warmth that was caused by the both of us.

But I have to leave it alone.

I’m haunted by the stories we shared with each other. Stories of past mistakes and future goals, tales of our ambitious mentalities and how we wouldn’t stop until we achieved everything. Thrilling pleasantries of what we would do with each other if the cards that we were dealt were played correctly.

But I have to leave it alone.

I’m haunted by the expressions on your face when my fingers decided to explore every part of your body. The explicit moans, the awe-inspiring gasps, the joyous shivers and the content smile. The playful yet rough force of our lips touching as clothes were ripped off and skin was beginning to show.

But I have to leave it alone.

I’m haunted by everything that happened between us, all sexual acts aside, what we had was unique. It was comforting and wonderful and intriguing. We were cranium over toes for each other and yet neither of us could fully understand it. I’m haunted by our time together, by our past, by what we were, and most of all by you. 

But I somehow have to leave you alone…

Perhaps They Are Not Stars...

In 5 years many things have happened, both good and bad but the one thing that never changes is the love I have for you. The fact that I miss you on a daily basis and also the fact that even though it barely shows, I am working my hardest to make you proud. Perhaps that is why I always feel the need to share these little messages with you on a yearly basis. Perhaps the work your two kids are putting into achieving their goals is proof that they are dead set on getting a thumbs up. Perhaps that is why the higher power decided to take you away from us. I was mad for quite some time about that but I now understand that you need to be up there to watch over us, to lend an ear when things get rough and to somehow give out a few beat downs when we act out. And even though I understand why you were taken, I still have the right to be sad. I love you Pop and I miss you and I will see you again someday but for the meantime I’ll be looking up at the stars where I’ll see that big goofy smile shining bright, reassuring us that you’re ok.